The 2011 season is upon us. We all knew it would happen, the owners and players want their money as much as we want to talk shit to each other every day for 15 weeks. I've broken down the preseason odds for each owner in the league, you can place your bets by mailing a check to South Carolina. Address it to PBody. They know how to find me.
Jensen: 4 to 1. The big guy is the odds on favorite every year. For some reason, he's always winning. I think it's because while the rest of us are out doing things like talking to women, he's holed up in his apartment reading about what Arian Foster had for breakfast.
Ghastin: 40 to 1. A blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while, but not often enough to win enough games to make the playoffs.
Colin: 10 to 1. Colin's team plays defense like he has kickers in at linebacker. Defense wins championships.
Chea (Commish): 8 to 1. The Commish is wise, but will he be drafting Ocho again this year? Teams with heart win on the field, but usually not in fantasy football.
PBody: 10 to 1. After a "most improved" type season, the Robot is ready for another run at mediocrity.
Napes: 9 to 1. His strategy to go against the grain and draft top WRs backfired last year and poor trading (worst trade in fantasy football history) doomed his 2010 campaign. Will he stick with his strat or will he follow the crowd (who are following Jensen)?
Austin: 8 to 1. Austin seems to quietly destroy people at the right times...if he's still alive, he has a good shot at taking home the title.
Terry: 12 to 1. In an unprecedented move, Terry will be Skyping in his picks for the draft from Texas. PBody is driving from South Carolina for the draft. Show some dedication will ya?
Mike: 20 to 1. At perhaps the best value for you preseason bet, Mike hasn't proven he can hang with the big boys on the scoreboard or the smack talk board. Will this be his breakout year?
Danny: 7 to 1. With a strong season on the back of a dog beater, Danny earned 2nd place honors after making it all the way to the Championship game against Jensen. He was later quoted "I was just happy to be there."
It's a new season. Be ready, or you'll end up 2-11 like PBody two years ago.
